WEDDING INVITATIONS
ETIQUETTE - WORDING - ADDRESSING - MAILING

Traditional wedding invitations are usually square and printed in black on white, ivory or cream colored paper. A formal wedding invitation includes inner and outer envelopes, a reception card, an RSVP card and envelope (with postage applied), directions to the ceremony and reception locations (and lodging information for out of town guests).

Since the Bride's parents traditionally pay for the wedding and reception and are the hosts, the Bride's parents usually send out the wedding invitations and are named on the invitation.  If the Groom's parents are sharing the expenses they can also be named on the invitation. 

Although there are many traditional rules concerning the composition of wedding invitations, depending upon the formality and style of your wedding, a variety of options are available to you when it comes to the style of the invitation and the wording within the invitation.

Since most wedding invitations are printed by professional printing companies - who know the rules - we will skip over most of the rules and simply get to the basic "what you need to know" items.

When you visit the printing or stationery company they will have albums of samples for you to look at as well as examples of the proper composition to use depending upon how formal (or informal) your wedding will be.  Proper wording for virtually every situation that can be imagined can be found within their examples. Be prepared to be slightly overwhelmed with the selections and options that are available.  There are different papers, different printing methods and different embellishments available - all at different prices.

When placing your order for wedding invitations be sure to proof (carefully look at) the design and layout of the invitation and double check the date, time and spelling on the invitation before the entire run is printed. Get a photocopy of the final invitation layout when you approve and initial the proof.  When picking up the invitations from the printer be sure to count the number of invitations received and check the date, time and spellings again.  If there is an error, compare it to the photocopy of the invitation proof.

WEDDING INVITATION ORDERING AND MAILING TIMING - To minimize stress, order your invitations 3 to 4 months in advance (just in case there is a mistake and the order must be reprinted). Send your invitations out a minimum of 6 to 8 weeks before your wedding date. Sooner is better than later since in some instances you will need your final guest count estimate a minimum of 2 weeks before the wedding date.  If you have out of town guests or are planning your wedding on a holiday weekend you may want to send a "Save the Date" announcement months in advance of the actual invitations to allow extra planning time.  A variety of "Save The Date" reminder cards, postcards, (and even refrigerator magnets) are available from numerous suppliers.

WEDDING GUEST and INVITATION NUMBERS -  Most of your wedding guests are probably couples who will require only 1 invitation per couple.  Traditionally a child who has reached their teens should receive their own invitation as well.  Review your guest list to determine the proper number of invitations to order.  Be sure to order extra envelopes since addressing mistakes are inevitable.  Also, be sure to order extra invitations to use in case there are later additions to your guest list (and to use as mementos).

WEDDING INVITATION ADDRESSING - Before you begin the task of addressing the envelopes, be sure to double check your guest list for proper spelling of names and addresses.

Traditionally, the wedding invitation envelopes are addressed by hand.  There are numerous services that will take care of the calligraphy for you - if not available locally, you can find many services on the Internet. If you do plan to address your own envelopes, your wrist will feel better and your writing will look better if you do the addressing in multiple sessions rather than trying to do it all in one sitting.

The envelopes should be addressed formally which means that abbreviations are not used (with the exception of the abbreviations Mr. Ms. Mrs. and Jr.) and punctuation marks are not used (with the exception of the use of commas between the cities and states and the previously mentioned allowed abbreviations).  Over the years it has become acceptable to omit the inner envelope. The inner envelope, if used,  will be addressed with the name only, i.e. Mr. and Mrs. Jones.  The first names and street addresses that appear on the outer envelope will not appear on the inner envelope.

When inviting a family with children only the parent's names appear on the outer envelope and the children's first names will be listed below the parents names on the inner envelope. As stated previously, children in their teens should receive their own wedding invitation.

Before mailing out the wedding invitations, take a completely stuffed invitation envelope to the Post Office and have it accurately weighed to determine the proper postage for the specific size and weight.  If you are sending different enclosures to different groups of people be sure to have those weighed as well.  You can then obtain preprinted stamps for the appropriate postage from the Post Office or order custom postage stamps online from Stamps.com.

Remember, if you are mailing wedding invitations to guests in other countries the postage will be higher - both for the outgoing invitations and the incoming R.S.V.P.s.  When timing your wedding invitation mailing keep in mind that mail to and from foreign countries can take weeks longer than mail within the United States.

SAVING MONEY ON WEDDING INVITATIONS

Shop Around and Compare - A recent survey indicates that your local wedding, stationery and printing suppliers may not have the best price. Office supply stores and discount and warehouse stores now supply pretty much the same quality and style of invitations that were previously found only from suppliers that specialized in wedding invitations.  There are also many well established wedding invitation suppliers that can be found on the Internet.  You can browse their samples and examples online on their websites to save time and money.  Many online wedding invitation suppliers will also send you samples of their products.

Look for Packages - Many suppliers offer packages that include the wedding invitations, the RSVP cards, the thank you cards, the envelopes and other goodies at a lower package price than if you were to order the items individually.

Skip the Excess and Save Money!  Added Size and Weight  = Added Expense - Over the years it has become acceptable to omit the inner envelope from the wedding invitation.  If your reception will take place in the same location as your ceremony there is really no need to include a reception card since the words "Reception to Follow" can simply be included on the invitation. Oversized and odd shaped invitations (the post Office has figured out a way to surcharge you for square envelopes) and embellishments like tissue liners, seals, bows, etc. all add to the cost of the wedding invitations and the postage. 

Substitute and Save - An RSVP postcard will cost less than a RSVP card and envelope. RSVPs by toll free phone number will cost even less.  Thermographic printing will give you the raised look and feel of an engraved wedding invitation at a fraction of the cost.  Lined envelopes cost more to purchase and mail than other high quality envelopes.

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