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Toasting the bride and groom is a long
standing tradition of the wedding celebration. Unlike most toasts that are
just a few words with a symbolic simultaneous group drink (alcoholic or non)
concluding the gesture, wedding toasts are more like a short speech.
A simple, heartfelt 2 to 3 minute speech / toast will usually get the job done
in style.
If you are the best man, you will likely have the duties of acting toastmaster
and will organize the toasting schedule for the wedding reception in addition to
giving your own toast to the bride and groom. Once it is determined who will be giving
the toasts / speeches a schedule should be made so that everyone knows in
which order and when they will be making their toast /speech.
There are numerous toast that can and will take place depending upon the wishes of the bride and groom. The best man and sometimes the maid of honor will toast the bride and groom, the father of the bride will toast the bride and groom, the father of the groom may also toast the bride and groom, the groom will toast the bride and her family, the bride may toast the groom and his family and the bride and groom may toast each other. Toasts may also be made by the officiate and others close to the bride and groom. If the officiate is offering a blessing, all other toasts should follow the blessing.
If you are making a wedding toast and if public speaking is not your thing, following are tips to make your toast more profession and panic free.
When to toast? Normally the first toast, given by the Best Man (or sometimes the Bride's Father), is made at the wedding reception once everyone has arrived and has been served a beverage to toast with - or is seated for dinner and has an available beverage for toasting. After that, the schedule of toasts (usually occurring just prior to and throughout dinner) is pretty much up to the bride and groom.
Plan and write your toast/speech in advance. Whatever you do, do not try to make an impromptu toast. You will want your toast to be thoughtful and from the heart rather than unprepared rambling. If you feel that you are unable to write a wedding toast there are a number of writing services available that can write the perfect toast for you. There are also a number of books available with examples (or templates) to use where you can simply personalize the toast / speech with the names of the bride and groom.
Be yourself. Don't try to be funny, don't try to be witty, don't try to be entertaining. Relax, be yourself and you will be great! Although a truly great toast /speech usually combines a bit of wit and humor with heartfelt sincerity you are not competing for the "wedding toast of the year" award and there are few award winning toasts made at weddings. So, if you feel uncomfortable about the wit and humor part of the toast simply exercise some wisdom and focus on sincerity. On the other hand, if you are actually funny, witty and entertaining, go for it! However, if you intend to relate a humorous story about the bride and groom as part of the toast, remember who your audience is and avoid anything off color or that only a few people may understand - or anything that may embarrass anyone. Remember, it is a toast - not a roast. Focus on good things - the bride and groom and the happiness of the moment.
Keep it short and sweet. When toasting the bride and groom, a bit more is expected than the standard quickie toast. A 2 to 3 minute wedding speech / toast should get the job done nicely. 5 minutes and you are probably beginning lose everyone's attention as they lie face down in their salad plates.
Be a name dropper and connect. Use the names of the people that you are toasting. Look at the people when you refer to them.
Break your toast / speech into pieces. Break your wedding toast/speech into 3 pieces. The opening, the body and the closing. Breaking it into easy to handle pieces will make it easier to write and easier to remember.
The Opening - You will introduce yourself and briefly explain your relationship to the bride and groom. You will then lead into the body of your toast / speech.
The Body - This portion of the toast / speech could include a brief memorable story about the bride, groom, or both. Or, it could include the retelling of a humorous moment regarding the bride and groom. Or, it could start with a memorable quote or words from a poem or song and then lead into something that relates to the bride and groom and their relationship, and their wedding, and this celebration of their marriage...
The Closing - Can be a simple heartfelt statement of best wishes for the bride and groom or it could be a thank you to the bride and groom for inviting everyone to share their special day. At the conclusion you will raise your glass (hopefully prompting the other guests to raise their glasses) and you will drink to the bride and groom.
After the toast, you will either simply take your seat or introduce the next in line for giving a toast and then take your seat.
Practice, practice, practice. Although it is normal to be nervous before giving a toast or speech, the more you practice the less nervous you will be. First of all, completely write down your speech or toast. Then, read the toast / speech out loud to see how long it takes to read. Then, rewrite your toast / speech until it sounds like something you would actually say and is the length that you want it to be. Once you are comfortable with the length and the way the toast / speech reads, read it to someone who has not heard it before to get their opinion. Assuming that no modifications are made and it is in final form, practice your toast / speech aloud until you do not need your speech in written form. Practice in front of a mirror, practice in front of the dog, practice in the shower - but be sure to practice!
Cheat sheets never hurt. Regardless of how much you practice your wedding toast / speech, after you have memorized your toast / speech you may want to have note cards that highlight the main points of your toast - in the order that you intend to present them. Although you will not want to use them during the actual toast / speech you may want to review them before your toast / speech. Just knowing that you have them in your pocket can have a very calming effect.
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